Ruin-Tumult

Alright! This is a thread dedicated to adamant writers who enjoy poetry. The rules are simple.
1. You must first constructively criticize the above poster's poetry, and say what you liked/didn't like about it.
2. You then supply your poem. The poem has no limits in length, but be sure to keep within site standards.

Here is a poem I have written a while back...{it is in hiku} {for those thay may not know, the form of hiku needs 5 syllables, then 7, then 5}

Chains of length unbound,
fallen, but not forgotten
peaceful, and quite sound.

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