Metalhead Steve

One last cheer for the friends that you miss, the ones you feel you treat like piss... Sometimes at least.

These last years have taught me that physical distance does become spiritual distance in time.

The equation is an infinite one, one of circumstance.

Time plus circumstance equals a change of the soul, though an inconsistent guage this is.

All the people I have left behind, do they think about me as much as I think about them?

Reciprocation is a type of vindication, tells you when your doing something right.

There is something missing right now... I no longer feel needed, it bothers me to a certain point.

I miss the old times. Days without worries, nights unhindered.

I remember when we were brothers, when we were unseparable... Nearly identical.

Now when we see each other it seems surreal. We converse with tact... Almost as if we are both afraid of each other.

If they came here I would be embarassed. My life is small, pathetic, compared to theirs.

It is my job to grow... Better yet leave this place for another start with my brothers.

My first job is to improve me, then I can worry about rejoining the fray...


Dedicated to my brothers Jessey, Greg, and Cody... Wherever you are. We will be brothers again!




Tell me what you think about this, I was just writing in freeverse this morning because I thought about this last night at work... I started with the first line and built. FYI this is really about me.

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Give us this day our daily bread, your legacy we'll not forget. Lick the wounds and cleanse the land, the modern world rejects your hand... Sinister rouge coming back for more to even the score! --- Bad Religion

Pamela

Did you want a discussion on the writing or the content?
The writing is thoughtful,and insightful.It evokes emotions,and memories most of us all share.

Anyone that has had to move around a lot like I have had to will always miss and long for friends you can no longer contact.
This is just how life works.

Some people you can run into from years gone by and it is an instant connection.
Others have become strangers and must be learned again,due to changes in both of our lives.

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A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

Metalhead Steve

I wanted to know what people thought of the style as well as the content.

I can contact these people but it will be at least February 1 of next year before I can even leave my county. I wrote it because I saw a guy at the mall I work in who looked identical to one of them and it made me think of them all.

It has been a long time since I have written anything that is not an essay so I do not know if my prose was any good or not. I would like some feedback though.

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Give us this day our daily bread, your legacy we'll not forget. Lick the wounds and cleanse the land, the modern world rejects your hand... Sinister rouge coming back for more to even the score! --- Bad Religion

Pamela

The writing style is concise and the words are very mature.For freestyle it flows well in the effect that you build one thought upon the previous.
This is a must in this writing style,prose has no ryhming words to link. Therefor it is the readers thoughts and emotions you must capture in a manner that entices them to want to completly finish reading.


Prose,as with a novel,is an art...you have to hook them ...lead them through your mind,and keep their attention.You did well,I think it was a good job. The content is one of not only regret,but hope for change...this is mainly what I see in this.

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A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

Metalhead Steve

Thank you I appreciate the compliments. I wrote it with the top level words I could think of and it took me about three hours to complete because I was working so hard on it. I really enjoyed writing it, and I still enjoy looking at it. I guess I wrote a pretty good lyric.

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Give us this day our daily bread, your legacy we'll not forget. Lick the wounds and cleanse the land, the modern world rejects your hand... Sinister rouge coming back for more to even the score! --- Bad Religion

Frai7ty

It was good. It reminds me of parts of my past. Indeed, I think it would remind many people of times past.

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Pamela

You are a musician correct?Have you contemplated putting this to music?
It would make a great song...just my opinion.

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A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!

Metalhead Steve

Hmm... Yeah it could be good. I like a song with a lack of a chorus and I think I can make a very inspired song from it.

__________________
Give us this day our daily bread, your legacy we'll not forget. Lick the wounds and cleanse the land, the modern world rejects your hand... Sinister rouge coming back for more to even the score! --- Bad Religion

Pamela

Is there any way you could post that if you do put it to music? I would be interested in listening to it personally.

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A Light in your Darkness...always there...and burning!!