Thread: Too Funny

These are TOO TOO FUNNY.. had to share them.. the last one will leave you in tears!!

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I
noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco


2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big
breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,Seattle, WA


3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife
that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more
than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was havingtrouble
with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the
Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of
places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I
hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now,
the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
"How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete
confusion she answered.."Why, not for about twenty years - when my
husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR


6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this
morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get
used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and
the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI


7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young womanwith
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she wasscheduled for
immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on theoperating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green,and
above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once
the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!................


8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling
softly.The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam
suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up
from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was,
"I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

Dr. wouldn't submit his name