Are people really this stupid?(THIS IS HYSTERICAL)

**SilverTears** · **Are people really this stupid?(THIS IS HYSTERICAL) -** 02-09-2007, 03:32 AM

I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THIS, THIS WAS FROM ANOTHER PERSON ON ANOTHER FORUM. ENJOY!! =]

My husband works with computers and is frequently called upon to answer questions regarding hardware and software. One day he came home from work lamenting the "unbelievable" stupid questions that people ask.....

My husband works with computers and is frequently called upon to answer questions regarding hardware and software. One day he came home from work lamenting the "unbelievable" stupid questions that people ask. On this particular day, someone had called to ask him where the "any" key was located on the keyboard. My husband was stunned and then asked the caller what he meant. The voice on the other end IMPATIENTLY replied, " YOU KNOW...the ANY key...when it says, "Press Any Key!"

I used to work as a technical support analyst for a large computer corporation and I got lots of stupid people who called with stupid questions, wondering why their computers weren't working. One of the best ones was a lady who called from her office one day, and she said her screen was black. I asked her if the computer was turned on, she said that it was. It almost confused me, but I'm used to working with stupid people, so I asked her to make sure it was on by checking the power switches and to make sure it was plugged in. She told me that she couldn't do that because the power was down in the building she worked in and it was too dark to see.

A technician got a call for help. A customer said he could not get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble shooting the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "SEND" key.

Years ago, I worked for a computer service company that serviced all-in-one computers (computer, monitor, and keyboard). One Wednesday afternoon one of our clients reported one of the units was dead. We sent a technician out the following morning but it was fine. The following week the same thing happened. The technician brought it back to the shop and I ran continuous diagnostics on it for two days. It ran fine. The following Wednesday afternoon it was down again, but working Thursday morning. Finally we sent a field tech to sit with it on a Wednesday. It worked fine all morning, and then the woman who worked at it watered her plant and went to lunch. The plant, hung above the computer, leaked water into the air vents and the computer died. She watered her plant every Wednesday at noon and Saturday at closing. The computer would dry enough by the following day to work again.

I work in a software store. One time while at work a man walked up to me and said that he thought his computer had a virus. I asked him what his computer was doing, and he said, "Well, the monitor keeps getting warm."

I work in a computer lab. A girl comes up to me all hysterical. I ask her what's wrong and she tells me, "The computer went blank! I lost my whole paper!" I look at her and the computer. I simply tell her to move the mouse... stupid screen saver!

Customer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.'
Tech Support: 'Did you install the update?'
Customer: 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'

Customer: 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'
Tech Support: 'Tell me what you've done.'
Customer: 'I typed 'A:SETUP'.'
Tech Support: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'
Customer: 'It says '$PC manufacturer! Restore and Recovery disk'.'
Tech Support: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'
Customer: 'What?'
Tech Support: 'Did you buy MS word?'
Customer 'No...'
Customer: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech Support: 'What type of computer do you have?'
Customer: 'A white one.'

The customer was using release 1 of Windows 95, and I was using Windows 98, so I had to ask her a question about what her Explorer window looked like:

Tech Support: 'Up at the top it says File, Edit, and View. What does it say just to the right of View?'
Customer: 'Edit.'
Tech Support: 'No, to the right of View.'
Customer: 'Edit.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, what's on the other side of View?'
Customer: 'Oh, Tools.'
Tech Support: 'Click your left mouse button.'
Customer: 'Which one is that?'
Tech Support: 'Well, you know your left from your right, so click
the button on your left.'
Customer: 'Oh.'
Tech Support: 'What happened?'
Customer: 'Nothing.'
Tech Support: 'You did click the left mouse button?'
Customer: 'I think so.'
Tech Support: 'The one on your left?'
Customer: 'Which one was that again?'

Customer: 'I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or Workstation version?'
Tech Support: 'Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a
server?'
Customer: 'A server. So, which one do I get?'
Tech Support: 'The server version perhaps?'
Customer: 'Which one is that?'
Tech Support: 'Windows NT Server.'
Customer: 'Ok, thanks.'

Giving instructions on how to use Microsoft Word 7:
Me: 'Type in a few words, or a test sentence.'
Secretary: (skeptically) 'With what?'
Me: 'The keyboard.'
Secretary: 'The what??'
Me: 'Keyboard. The jobbie in front of you with the keys on it.'
Secretary: 'Oh. That.'
Me: 'Yeah, it works like a typewriter.'
Secretary: 'I don't understand. (types a few words) 'Oh Hey
It works justlike my typewriter'
Me: 'Uh-huh...'

I told one of our customers to send an email message to me so
I could see if her mail was working. I told her that my address
was mjq@$host!. She replied, 'How do you spell 'mjq'?'

Customer: 'What's a colon?'
Tech Support: 'It's the key next to the 'L' key on your keyboard.'

Tech Support: 'Type 'A:' at the prompt.'
Customer: 'How do you spell that?'

Once I was walking a gentleman through the steps to do something
-- I don't even remember what -- and when we finished, a dialog
box appeared. It offered to do what we wanted it to and had a single button -- the OK button. He sat there for a minute and hen, frustrated, asked me what he had to do next. 'Tell the computer 'OK,’I said.

He leaned forward and said in a loud but clear voice, 'OK'

Customer: 'I can't get into the database.' I check the usual stuff,
but it's all fine.
Tech Support: 'Can you go and check if the server is working?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'What do you mean, 'no'?'
Customer: 'No, I can't do that.'
Tech Support: 'Why not?'
Customer: 'Well, it's not there.'
Tech Support: 'It's WHAT?'
Customer: 'They took it away to be upgraded.'

Customer: 'I'm having a problem installing your software. I've
got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says
is 'Bad command or filename'.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, check the directory of the A: drive -- go to
A:and type'dir'.'
Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.
Tech Support: 'All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL'again.'
Customer: 'Ok.' (pause) 'Still says 'Bad command or file name'.'
Tech Support: 'Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place --
it can'thelp but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L andhitting the Enter key?'
Customer: 'Yes, let me try it again.' (pause) 'Nope, still 'Badcommand
orfile name'.'
Tech Support: (now really confused) 'Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?
Customer: 'Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the'M' key...does that matter?'

Stealth · 02-09-2007, 09:55 AM

lol some of those were hillarious.