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| Someof em should probably be old for some of you guys... but whatever .gif "Tongue(1)") Quote: Subject: Smart boy... Ha ha ha
First-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While
Boy.
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the
situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test
and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.
The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to
the
third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer.
Boy taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and
a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I
get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large
Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow
me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get
it u
have to use your hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than
on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after
they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send
this
Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
|
-- Quote: About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to
leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese >community.
So the Pope made a deal. /
He would have a religious debate with a member of
the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope
wins, the Chinese >would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other
choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah
Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more
interesting", he said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope
agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite
each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three
fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his
fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where
he sat. The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an
apple. The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The
>Chinese can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope
asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers
to represent the holy trinity.He responded by holding up one finger to
remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions." "Then
I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us." He
responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here
with us." "I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin.
He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for
everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded
around Ah Peh. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Ah Peh, "First he
indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to
him f*#k off and not one of us is leaving." "Then he pointed that this whole
city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right
here." "Yes, and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He
took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!!" | --- Quote:
B elow are four ( 4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer =
them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately =
.............. OK?=20
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)=20
First Question:=20
Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What =
position are you in?=20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=20
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are=20
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his =
place, you are second!=20
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,=20
but don't take as much time as you too! k for the first question, OK ?
Second Question:=20
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)=20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=20
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong =
again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?=20
i think you could be in first position =20
You're not very good at this, are you?=20
Third Question:
V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .=20
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 Now add another 1000=20
Now add 10 . What is the total?=20
Scroll down for answer.....=20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=20
Did you get 5000?=20
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!=20
Today is definitely not your day, is it?=20
Maybe you'll get the last question right....=20
...............Maybe.
Fourth Question:=20
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono............. What is the name of the fifth daughter?=20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=20
Did you Answer Nunu?=20
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!=20
Okay, now the bonus round:=20
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully=20
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is
done.=20
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of=20
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?=20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=20
He just has to open his mouth and ask...=20
It's really very simple.... Like you!=20
| |
01-21-2007, 05:48 AM
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