illa
08-31-2004, 02:21 PM
#1 Little johnny's class went on a field trip to a local police station and saw pictures of the worlds top 10 most wanted men. and little johnny asks if the photos where really photos of the men and the police officer said yes.. and the dectives want them really bad so little johnny said so why the F*** didnt u keep them when u took the picture
#2 a man and a woman are getting a divorce and fightning over custody of the children the judge asks both the man and the woman why either of them should get the children so the woman replies: ive carried those children for 9 months in my belly and went through the pains of labor to bring them to this world so i should have costudy and the man says:
your honor if you put a dollar into a soda machine and a soda pops out, whose soda is it? mine or the machine
#3 A owner of a drug store walks in to find a man leaning heavily against the wall so he asks his clerk what he was doing there so the clerk responds: he came in this morning looking for something to help his cough but i couldnt find the cough syrup so i gave him a entire bottle of laxitives. The owner says you idiot u cant cure coughs with laxitives and the clerk says oh yea? well look at him.. hes afraid to cough.
#4 A stoner goes to a 7-11 and asks the clerk "got ne ****?" the clerk responds "hell no u damn stoner" the next day the stoner asks again "got ne ****?" and the clerk smashes the stoners head on the counter and says "if u ever come back here asking for **** im gonna nail ur feet to the floor" so the next the stoner comes and asks " got ne nails?" the clerks says "no" and then the stoner asked "got ne ****?"
haha well i thought these were funny so enjoy
#2 a man and a woman are getting a divorce and fightning over custody of the children the judge asks both the man and the woman why either of them should get the children so the woman replies: ive carried those children for 9 months in my belly and went through the pains of labor to bring them to this world so i should have costudy and the man says:
your honor if you put a dollar into a soda machine and a soda pops out, whose soda is it? mine or the machine
#3 A owner of a drug store walks in to find a man leaning heavily against the wall so he asks his clerk what he was doing there so the clerk responds: he came in this morning looking for something to help his cough but i couldnt find the cough syrup so i gave him a entire bottle of laxitives. The owner says you idiot u cant cure coughs with laxitives and the clerk says oh yea? well look at him.. hes afraid to cough.
#4 A stoner goes to a 7-11 and asks the clerk "got ne ****?" the clerk responds "hell no u damn stoner" the next day the stoner asks again "got ne ****?" and the clerk smashes the stoners head on the counter and says "if u ever come back here asking for **** im gonna nail ur feet to the floor" so the next the stoner comes and asks " got ne nails?" the clerks says "no" and then the stoner asked "got ne ****?"
haha well i thought these were funny so enjoy