A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.

The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her.

When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat.

The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.

The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

lol... ive heard better, but that was pretty good

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Ripley, West Virginia. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking
lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed
an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed
to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a
number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the
car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) --
flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and
then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches,
reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some
more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he
pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The
police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the
patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and
carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Hillbilly. "Tonight I'm the designated
decoy."



I'm in this thread simply because i'm liable to become a drunken mixup one of these nights and be forced to document it here

buh-duh tchz!

nice one x

That was classic x! nice you guys.

X you just copied me that aint cool man

Lawl "The Bartender"... yup thats me.

yea X, some one else has already posted that one.