Pamela
10-13-2004, 02:11 PM
I decided that I needed a few days off and I realized that I ran
out of vacation time already. I figured the best way to get the Boss
to send me home was to act a little crazy. I figured he'd think I
was burning out and give me some time off.
I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down
from the ceiling. Just then one of my coworkers (she's blonde, it'll
be important later) came in and asked me what I'm doing. "Shh," I
said, "I'm acting crazy to get a few days off. I'm a light bulb."
A second later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.
"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.
"You're going crazy," he said. "Take a few days off."
With that, I jumped down and started walking out. My coworker
started following me and the Boss asked where she was going.
"I can't work in the dark," she said.
</XBODY><!-- END TOC -->
:laugh:
n3kk1d-l337
10-14-2004, 12:25 AM
Thats a funny one :smile:
[Ghost]
10-14-2004, 12:31 AM
heh nice 1. i had a sub that used to make blond jokes untill he got in trouble so he makes irish jokes now (hes irish)
A|fzZz
10-14-2004, 08:49 AM
oh my...where did u hear it from...
cos the radio i heard this morning was telling this joke LOL!
Pamela
10-14-2004, 12:33 PM
LOL Actually my Mom and my Neice e-mail me tons of this stuff!! It is not uncommon for me to sign on and have 70 unread e-mail....which can sometimes be a pain>.<!!!!!!! But ...what the heck...I Like to share the gigles!:D
A|fzZz
10-14-2004, 02:17 PM
wonders how the dj in the radio station get hold of this...wonders where is started from...:)
Mr. Fabulous
10-16-2004, 06:10 AM
Same way it always starts some one gets bored and makes up a joke. Good one by the way
Hamel
10-16-2004, 07:13 PM
lol that was pretty funny
endromada
11-05-2004, 12:42 AM
lol chain letters with blond jokes in them... thats a good way for them to get around :D
victor
11-05-2004, 12:48 AM
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Buy her another beer.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O
Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row
Q: Why are blondes like pianos?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond ***** going to leave!?
Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping card?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q. What do you call 12 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What did the blonde say to the doctor when she found out she was pregnant?
A. Is it mine?
Q. What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What do blondes & screen doors have in common?
A. The more you bang them the looser they get.
Q. Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A. They don't know the route.
Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eyes?
A. Put a flashlight in her ear.
Q. What do blondes & computers have in common?
A. You never appreciate either one until they go down on you.
Q. Why do blondes use whiteout on their computer screen?
A. They couldn't find an eraser.
Q. How did the blonde break her leg playing hocky with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A. She fell out of a tree.
Q. What do blondes & turtles have in common?
A. Put them on their backs & their both screwed.
Q. What's the mating call of a blonde?
A. I' getting so drunk.
Q. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A. 8-- 1 to bake them & 7 to peel the M&M's.
Q. Why do blondes get tilt steering?
A. It give them more head room.
Q. What do blondes say after sex?
A. Who are you guys?
* just some random stuff i found off somewebsite figured id actualy post something instead of just saying how good the last one was
not realy that funny but hey took me about 1 minute to find
LostTrance
11-05-2004, 09:10 AM
Some of those are pretty funny. Nice joke Pamela.
victor
11-05-2004, 12:42 PM
yeah not all funny but i figured hey why not toss them in
Pamela
11-05-2004, 02:13 PM
LOL Those were good! here is a new one...
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument!
ken2520
11-07-2004, 06:02 PM
i dont get that one ... the others r funny ^_^
Lycshiftz
11-07-2004, 09:49 PM
I like the first one.
I hate victors considering theyre cheap ripoffs of the original jokes...
example: Its not that she has a grenade in her mouth...
Its what do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
The second one wasnt as good.
JesseDS
11-07-2004, 10:17 PM
ya i have to agree, the first was better
Knight Blade
12-04-2004, 03:37 AM
I like the grenade one best, second only to pam.