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Originally Posted by 10 man  The story was interesting. Is this college level? I find it to be a bit wordy. It seems to be almost over descriptive. I'm under the assumption that you have a word limit on this narrative essay. The over abundance of adjectives and adverbs tends to make the essay difficult to read from my perspective. It seems to lack proper flow for an enjoyable read. |
I'm a high school sophmore and no, there is no word limit for the story. The wordiness stems for the fact that it was supposed to exemplify sensory detail in order to evoke a singular emotion. In other words, every word in the story works in creating a common goal.
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Originally Posted by 10 man I do on the other hand find it to be quite creative and once I got past the heavy wordage, I liked it. My curiosity has been stirred as to what letter grade you received on this narrative. All in all, great job. |
My teacher said that my story was flat-out the best sensory detail story in the class but I received an A- because I didn't exactly follow the directions on the prompt.
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Originally Posted by 10 man Oh yeah. I don't like your use of em dashes. I find them unwarranted. As a reader I feel that a comma would have done the trick just fine. |
I actually thought this also but when I looked it up I found that commas were grammatically incorrect. A comma can be used when separating clauses. Commas are also appropriate to put around a group of words that, if removed, would still allow the sentence to flow normally. Dashes, on the other hand, are an extension of what the author is talking about. The dashes are put where they are because they further elaborate on the chosen subject.
Anyways, thank you for reading my story
