Since you requested, I shall close this thread.
I think there would probably be a general lack of interest for people to adopt-a-****, and the only people I see as ****s are the one-post-wonders asking for a hack, whom we will never see again.
But yeh, if ****s to the site need, they can always PM one of the mods or whatever, or at least feel free to PM me because I won't bite...over and over...
-closed