| The description is the better part.
The grammar and context are well into place.
I will be the first to give you professional critisism.
Being a professional in writing, might I suggest...
Change the veiw of the character, I, me, my, become repetitive in any story, and in most cases repel future readers.
Give it a try, show one group your first work.
Afterwords show another group the refurbished writ, ask them both of their oppinion. |