Blizzard Sector - Diablo 3 - View Single Post

**jedimaster86** · 07-29-2006, 05:51 AM

Amazing job man...very nicely written. The only thing I see are some minor grammatical errors here and there, but the story itself is very well done.

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What happens when a side of the equation does not accept the variable is simple, the equation is not equal on both sides, causing chaos.

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After a few months of the threat getting more and more serious, the Beets, as well as most other families, were finally realizing that the end was really happening

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And then it came - the asteroid hit

I'm sure what you had was wrong, but this may make it more dramatic by separating it more via dash.

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When it hit the earth everyone stopped what they were doing to see a wave of shock cover every square inch around them.

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When the asteroid came, one side of the equation was lacking an equal variable - the human side.

Once again, prolly ok, but another effect I guess.

There could be other things, but I don't feel like being any more nit-picky than I already have.