| "since when were sun glasses worth more than a 24" color tv? I Walked into a sunglass hut the other day and i saw a pair of glasses i liked. i liked them..not loved them....3 hundred and 67 bucks! and so i said very kindly to the store clerk..how do you sleep at night you freaken (you know its not freaken) prik!"
"well apparenty sir you don't get it..these glasses eliminate 100% of all U V rays!"
"well these babies pick up a god damn satelite signal from outer freaken space!"
"after that i felt like a ****head..they only picked up digital cable"
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"I almost dies the other day...well i really didnt even get hurt...i rode a plane to chicago and it was this plane about the size of a gum wraper..sat 4 people...we got about half way there and the piolet came over the speaker system and told us what was wrong.. we had some lost oil pressure in engine 1...but all he had to do was turn around....and the guy beside me was losing his mind! apparently..he had a lot to live for..hes like" " hey man, hey, hey, hey man, if one of these engines fail, how far will the otehr one take us?"
" ive been drinking since noon so i didnt know what the feak was going on...so i said..all the was to the scene of the crash!..which seems pretty handy because thats where w're heading!..i bet we beat the paramedics there by a half hour!"
i love ron white...if you have any ron white jokes or if u want to fix mine..feel free to post |